yes it hurts. hurts like hell.

you could cry at any moment for any reason just because you need to.

you could punch your hand through a wall easily.

for a split second you could actually kill someone. 

channel that anger and pain and bitterness and concentrate it on one single point.

mold it into strength.

use it wisely.

and forget the people who aren’t even worthy to look at the beautiful person that is YOU.

Pointless wishes, 

Selfish wishes,

Impossible wishes,

Wishes you don’t really want to admit,

Weird wishes, 

Conventional wishes,

Wishes for others,

Wishes for yourself,

Thoughtful wishes, 

And the secret wishes that are for you and no one else.

Maybe they’ll come true, maybe they won’t, but they’ll always be just yours :)

You don’t know how much you mean to me.

You don’t know why you mean that much to me.

You don’t know how much you make me laugh.

You don’t know how much you make me cry.

You don’t know that I could tell you pretty much anything.

You don’t know.

And I don’t know how to tell you.

Tears hurt. Or rather they bear the hurt that we are feeling. They carry it and then they wash away, trying to take the hurt with them.

We all hurt. We can all be self-centered and be so absorbed in our own pain. Sometimes that needs to happen, we need to have a bit of ‘me time’.

Wanting the tears to come and wash everything away can be just as painful as the actual hurt.

But watching someone else hurt, someone you love, is the greatest pain of all.

as told to me by my Auntie Nic, regarding the choices I make in life : you get what you settle for.

… and I’m already on my second book :)

at the theatre all this week. Even though I wasn’t performing on stage I’ve realised that working behind the scenes is amazing aswell :)

I didn’t realise how much I’d missed the seriously uncomfortable benches or the mirrors that make you look like ghosts no matter how much stage makeup you’ve put on or the fact that instead of breathing oxygen into your lungs it’s a misty cloud of hairspray making your head go all fuzzy.

I didn’t realise how much I’d missed it until I had to leave, knowing that I wouldn’t be back till next year. It really is true what they say: you never know how much you love something until it’s gone.